Sarcas Files – Santa Shot Down over DC

25 11 2011

Mass pandemonium and sorrow as the Christmas Shopping season is now in grave doubt.  A brief intrusion into restricted airspace over DC prompted F-16’s to be scrambled and shoot down the intruder.  Unfortunately it was found out that intruder was in a flying sleigh with eight reindeer pulling it.  Santa Claus was indeed shot down during what appeared to be a test run of the sleigh.  After the crash, Santa’s body has yet to be found, though all eight reindeer, save for Rudolph who was home ill after a bad batch of eggnog, are confirmed dead.

Police have cordoned off the crash site in front of the Senate, where members of both houses were seen congregating and deliberating on how to inform the public on this disaster.  Many moving trucks were seen being driven towards the site, and many members of Congress were identified as the drivers.  Claims were made that the gifts that were strewn around the crash site would be delivered by the grieving legislators, though many said “no comment” as to when they would be delivered, but none claimed they would come in time for Christmas Day.  Many of them were seen driving away rather quickly, especially Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-California), and Senator Harry Reid (D-Nevada).  President Obama came in with TOTUS in hand to address the nation, followed by a caravan of 16 wheeled trucks with heavy payloads and Secret Service loading all of the trucks to capacity.

I have been informed that the gifts would be delivered to the proper person and place (and appreciate that the gun from the Secret Serviceman was removed from the back of my head.)

Many doubt that the gifts would be delivered at all.  Occupy Wall Street decried that the gifts should have gone to them, and continued to stink up the streets of the nation.

Again, Santa’s current location remains unknown.

– Sarcas

(Note from the Right Wing Gamer.  This report has not been confirmed by any relevant news agency, not even by the AP nor any of the Tabloids.  Please use caution at believing the stories of Sarcas)

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2 responses

27 11 2011
gulrotkake

gulrotkake
Okay post, but not the best Ive seen exactly. You should step it up or carrot will eat your position.

3 12 2011
Thomas Kakascik

Well, it looks like we have a dilemna .

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